British Airways flight BA159, somewhere over the Atlantic - Friday 13 February

There are days when I complain about my job.

And then there are days - not very often, but one so far - where I’m packed off on an urgent business trip to Bermuda.

Needless to say, it’s an imposition.

As if it weren’t bad enough being forced to swap England in February for literally anything else, the way flights are priced meant it was way cheaper to send us out the Friday before rather than on the Monday.

The nerve of it!

OK, seriously. Spending a weekend Somewhere Else at your employer’s expense is a privilege, and one I haven’t exercised since 2022. I do appreciate it.

Normally, I do my best to avoid long haul flights, but at least when someone else is paying, the additional leg room of premium economy is on tap. Will being 5kg lighter than last time I flew long haul make it a more comfortable experience? We can only hope.

It’s not hard to pick your flight to Bermuda from the UK, because this last vestige of the empire is served by precisely one airline with a direct route. Unfortunately, it’s the same one that forgot to bring my suitcase last time I flew long haul!

You’ll have to wait for episode 2 to hear if they’ve learned from their mistakes, but I have - the hold bag has a tile in it (like an AirTag, but open to customers who don’t own any Apple devices), and my hand luggage has a couple of days’ worth of clothing etc. in it.

What else can I tell you at this stage? Getting a taxi to the airport is the one true way, although it was nice not to have to fork out for it myself. Heathrow continues to have the shiny not so new scanners, so apart from having to take my belt off, security was a breeze. I have two laptops and two battery packs on me, and nobody said a word. Meanwhile my colleague with a chunky paperback got his bag manually checked(!)

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a couple of Merlot minature bottles I need to drink to free up space…